At 36 years old I found myself dating again after 2 failed marriages and 4 children. I SWORE I would never get married again, but then Christopher came into my life like a thunderbolt. I was immediately drawn in by his charm, humor, everything about him pulled on my soul and I never saw it coming.

Fast forward two years, we are engaged, living together, and have managed to blend our families together and it seemed perfect.

It’s not as if the domestic violence happened right away, no. It was after I was deeply connected to this man, and felt I had no choice but to make this work. flipped on me. Once during karaoke (a favorite pastime of his), his name was skipped over. He became so oddly irate and demanded we leave. In the car I was trying to make him feel better and stated, “it was probably just a mistake because they were so busy, not personal.” This lit him up- he screamed at me in the car, “YOU are supposed to be on MY side!” This was a side of him I didn’t know, and the tears just flowed while I was trying to understand what I did wrong.

This was the first of many Dr. Jeckyll/Mr. Hyde scenarios, and eventually it escalated to him holding me down, and punching me in the face on our wedding night. The cops took him, and a week later I let him come back home. It never got better, from porn addiction, to ruining all holidays, gaslighting, physical abuse- I experienced it all.

Fast forward 10 years, it never got better. I educated myself on narcisstic personality disorder, and it fit my husband to a T. I knew I should have left, but it took him abruptly leaving one day and filing for divorce for me to come out of my fantasy world, and begin my new life.

I will share stories and information I have learned dealing with a narcissistic personality, and hopefully help anyone who is going through the same struggles. Let me say first- YOU ARE NOT CRAZY. Again, YOU ARE NOT CRAZY. This is what I hear most, how victims actually end up questioning what they could have done differently so this would have never happened. Victims will spend hours in therapy searching for what is ‘wrong with them’, due to the narcissist continually telling them they have mental issues and this is all their fault.

Sadly, this is common with men as well but I believe it is not as widely documented. We all deserve a beautiful life without fear. Thank you for visiting my page.